Toxic.


In a recent Uni project, we were faced with asking ourselves some questions…
‘As young females, what do we care about most?’
We were encouraged to think about what us personally think, but also what our friends, and any other young female in our kind of lifestyle would think.

Whenever I hear these kinds of serious, open ended questions, I must admit to default, the default of Brexit, starvation, wars and equal rights. Using these issues as my answer is not untrue, I do care about all of these, and spend time worrying about them, and discussing them. However, perhaps not for the best, these are not the things I ‘care’ about most. These are not usually the first thing I discuss with close friends or spend the most time and energy worrying and thinking about.

We care about relationships, and more recently, toxic ones. We analyse, and worry, and listen about toxic relationships constantly. It is something that everyone, weather personally or through others, has experienced. We all seem to have a story, lessons learned and advice to give. Toxic relationships go far beyond romantic, they can be friendships, and even the relationship with yourself.

Toxic was the word deemed by Oxford Dictionaries as best capturing the “ethos, mood, or preoccupations” of 2018 “Toxic” was judged to “have lasting potential as a term of cultural significance."

From my own experience, and those of friends, I quickly began to see that I am not alone in using the ‘default’ answer to these questions, and that toxic relationships are a bigger factor in our lives than seems to be addressed. And after talking to a number of woman, and even an anonymous Instagram survey, it was clear that this is one of, if not the main thing that we care about right now.
There are issues that seem much ‘bigger’ than these, however regardless of who we are, our relationships are the closest most immediate changes and catalysts in our lives. Therefore, addressing this newly defined toxicity, is something that seems very pressing.

There are several lines of advice out there, however with personal experience of the severe effects of these toxic relationships, not only for the people directly involved, but for those who love them, the help is not enough. I feel passionate about how important tackling this toxicity is, and I feel the stigma around talking about these relationships as futile, or self-indulgent, needs to end.





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